I didn't get online at the dawn of time, but I was there in the late 1980s, on the second set of TinyMUDs after the original. (Chaos, Islandia, etc.). And there, I met ![]()
sarakate. I was 17, and she was just 19. We were not super-close, not ever, but I always just thought she was great, and admired her from afar, and sometimes from a-near. She was always whip smart, and never flipped out as far as I could see, and these were the days when everyone was having a meltdown approximately once every thirty-six hours or so.
And then we grew up. Of the crowd I ran with (there's a book about us) she was one of the most interesting to talk to. Sally got a degree in civil engineering and then in law, got married, and had two kids, and just so observant—it was the combination of the interest in the material (say, civil engineering) and the social (constructs like law) that made her a pleasure. She rarely updated her LJ, but when she did I always read it closely. When she commented here, or later on my FB, everything she had to say was well-informed and sensible. When we finally met some years ago, after what was then eighteen years of virtual acquaintance, it was because we both finally managed to drop everything to do so, and I was thrilled.
Because Sally wasn't very social on social media—career and kids, you know—our old crowd did not find out that her body was discovered in her car on August 10th until yesterday. Sally had driven out to a park-and-ride and fired a gun into her own chest. Some of us were sending her birthday greetings on Facebook, pushing down the comments from relatives and local friends that took the form of condolences and wishes for a peaceful afterlife.
I was shocked. My first thought was that Sally was murdered. Police are wrong about foul play all the time, aren't they? I was working up the nerve to contact a friend to suggest we raise money to hire a private detective when the word came through that Sally had experienced depression for a long time. Obviously, she and I weren't very close, but even people closer to her than I were thrown for a loop. It's just a terrible terrible thing. Like I told my friend who knew her, if I were to have made a list of all of us from most likely to suicide to least likely to, Sally would have honestly been dead last. In reality, she was first.
I suppose this is where one is supposed to say "If you're depressed, you can always turn to me!" or "If you're depressed, seek out help!" but sometimes friends and help are not enough. All we can really do is just watch out for one another as best we can, and remember that even the bit players in your life might miss you more than you'll ever know.
sarakate. I was 17, and she was just 19. We were not super-close, not ever, but I always just thought she was great, and admired her from afar, and sometimes from a-near. She was always whip smart, and never flipped out as far as I could see, and these were the days when everyone was having a meltdown approximately once every thirty-six hours or so.And then we grew up. Of the crowd I ran with (there's a book about us) she was one of the most interesting to talk to. Sally got a degree in civil engineering and then in law, got married, and had two kids, and just so observant—it was the combination of the interest in the material (say, civil engineering) and the social (constructs like law) that made her a pleasure. She rarely updated her LJ, but when she did I always read it closely. When she commented here, or later on my FB, everything she had to say was well-informed and sensible. When we finally met some years ago, after what was then eighteen years of virtual acquaintance, it was because we both finally managed to drop everything to do so, and I was thrilled.
Because Sally wasn't very social on social media—career and kids, you know—our old crowd did not find out that her body was discovered in her car on August 10th until yesterday. Sally had driven out to a park-and-ride and fired a gun into her own chest. Some of us were sending her birthday greetings on Facebook, pushing down the comments from relatives and local friends that took the form of condolences and wishes for a peaceful afterlife.
I was shocked. My first thought was that Sally was murdered. Police are wrong about foul play all the time, aren't they? I was working up the nerve to contact a friend to suggest we raise money to hire a private detective when the word came through that Sally had experienced depression for a long time. Obviously, she and I weren't very close, but even people closer to her than I were thrown for a loop. It's just a terrible terrible thing. Like I told my friend who knew her, if I were to have made a list of all of us from most likely to suicide to least likely to, Sally would have honestly been dead last. In reality, she was first.
I suppose this is where one is supposed to say "If you're depressed, you can always turn to me!" or "If you're depressed, seek out help!" but sometimes friends and help are not enough. All we can really do is just watch out for one another as best we can, and remember that even the bit players in your life might miss you more than you'll ever know.