Ghostbusters, despite sharing the name of the 1984 film, is not a remake. Sadly, it isn't even a retread. It is a weird mess. If it is similar to anything, it is to the many tween-oriented TV shows on the Disney channel—mugging replaces acting, there are tons of close-ups and reaction shots that feel consistently one second off, and the jokes are almost designed to be simultaneously absurd and utterly low-key so as to avoid unseemly tittering or laughter in the theater.
There were some good moments. The beginning was legitimately scary (and a couple of the earliest jokes were good), though it was a total cheat—how did the fancy historical mansion's docent escape the haunted, locked basement? The author photo of two of the characters is classic, and it's almost centered in one or two shots. But the film is generally a sloppy wreck: Ghostbusters thinks old New York had lots of Pilgrims—more than would be at the Thanksgiving Day parade—that locals eat Papa John's pizza, and that Princeton has a "science department."
The characters are:
Erin, who is a half-speed Kristen Wiig doing a stammering nervous sketch comedy character who had a bad childhood experience. She's supposedly the protagonist, but this is really all I know about her.
Abby Yates, who is a one-tenth speed Melissa McCarthy, doing ah...you know, I don't even know. I liked all her previous movies, even the bad ones, because she is just allowed to go off and do extended bits, but she gets nothing here.
Holtzmann, by super-cute Kate McKinnon, with whom the Internet has fallen in love despite the fact that she is utterly awful. She's basically ninety minutes of drama club nerd trying to be cool by being "wacky" in the background—so that explains the Internet! It collectively self-identifies with acting stupid and aspires to be quirkily attractive. She does have a decent little speech at the end.
Patty, who is Leslie Jones. Patty's a far more interesting character, at least to start. She's an autodidact and a New York history buff who works for the MTA. Unlike her parallel character of Winston ("If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say") in the original film, she is self-motivated and makes herself a part of the group out of an interest in the events she's experiencing and as part of a need for friendship. A lot of the goodwill I had for her part of the film went right down the toilet though when she was reduced to one of the most racist of stereotypes: a bug-eyed feets-don't-fail-me-now Steppin Fetchit type who is terrified of ghosts. If you think that sort of thing is funny, you are in the Ku Klux Klan, good-bye. In the third act, she develops a spine, but inexplicably.
Kevin, the receptionist, who isn't a dumb blond man played by Chris Hemsworth, but someone whose character is so stupid that it doesn't even make sense. How does someone who doesn't know what a fish tank is at first glance get a motorcycle license? He's not a ditz or a free spirit or even a moron, he just doesn't behave like any human being ever would, ever.
The villain, Rowan, isn't much, but he is remarkably well-cast. He's supposed to be the sort of person who just projects an aura of discomfort and weirdness that other people don't like. And look at this face!
![b83590856b0420321063cf28904340a73fcf0551e8fd0862919e46c17622528d]( "b83590856b0420321063cf28904340a73fcf0551e8fd0862919e46c17622528d")
I'd love to see the Backstage audition ad: "DOUGHY WEIRDO NEEDED FOR MAJOR FEMINIST STATEMENT." He didn't have much to do though, as he drops out in the second act, and later assumes other forms.
The best performance is Andy Garcia as the mayor of New York, who does a sort of vaguely Trumpian, vaguely Kochian spiel.
The plot, such as it is, is very simple: Rowan wants revenge on the world, and has a knack for technology, so makes ghost-amplifying gadgets. The 'busters bust the ghosts in a couple of set pieces, one of which works well for low-key supernatural scares, and are asked by the government to admit being frauds to avoid a general panic. So they do, but it upsets them, and apparently Rowan has infinite resources despite being a hotel janitor who dresses like a bell hop (what?) but they can't stop him in time and the whole city goes kablooey and there is the now-inevitable sci-fi brawl over a giant swirling hole. It's much more of an actioner than the original film, which is just as as well only about 1 percent of the "jokes" are funny.
That really is it. Everything comes easy. The clues are simple enough to understand, Holtzmann has unlimited spare time off-camera to come up with super-gadgets, the characters all transform themselves into incredible athletes who never miss more or less immediately, and everything's always great. The jokes are mostly shoehorned in to conversations, with plenty of TV-style reaction shots and people muttering to one another about what an odd thing it was to say this or that, and there's an extended bit when a lowlife college dean spends two minutes of screentime waving his middle fingers at the characters. It's just stupid. A lot of Ghostbusters is just fucking stupid. Dan Ackroyd playing a cabbie who says he ain't afraid of no ghosts is about as "aaawwwwweeeesome!!" as it gets (not at all; it was just embarrassing). In the very end, the editor cannot be arsed to make the dialogue match up with the moving lips of the characters. How much did this picture cost to make again?
The ghost of a good movie has been busted.
There were some good moments. The beginning was legitimately scary (and a couple of the earliest jokes were good), though it was a total cheat—how did the fancy historical mansion's docent escape the haunted, locked basement? The author photo of two of the characters is classic, and it's almost centered in one or two shots. But the film is generally a sloppy wreck: Ghostbusters thinks old New York had lots of Pilgrims—more than would be at the Thanksgiving Day parade—that locals eat Papa John's pizza, and that Princeton has a "science department."
The characters are:
Erin, who is a half-speed Kristen Wiig doing a stammering nervous sketch comedy character who had a bad childhood experience. She's supposedly the protagonist, but this is really all I know about her.
Abby Yates, who is a one-tenth speed Melissa McCarthy, doing ah...you know, I don't even know. I liked all her previous movies, even the bad ones, because she is just allowed to go off and do extended bits, but she gets nothing here.
Holtzmann, by super-cute Kate McKinnon, with whom the Internet has fallen in love despite the fact that she is utterly awful. She's basically ninety minutes of drama club nerd trying to be cool by being "wacky" in the background—so that explains the Internet! It collectively self-identifies with acting stupid and aspires to be quirkily attractive. She does have a decent little speech at the end.
Patty, who is Leslie Jones. Patty's a far more interesting character, at least to start. She's an autodidact and a New York history buff who works for the MTA. Unlike her parallel character of Winston ("If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say") in the original film, she is self-motivated and makes herself a part of the group out of an interest in the events she's experiencing and as part of a need for friendship. A lot of the goodwill I had for her part of the film went right down the toilet though when she was reduced to one of the most racist of stereotypes: a bug-eyed feets-don't-fail-me-now Steppin Fetchit type who is terrified of ghosts. If you think that sort of thing is funny, you are in the Ku Klux Klan, good-bye. In the third act, she develops a spine, but inexplicably.
Kevin, the receptionist, who isn't a dumb blond man played by Chris Hemsworth, but someone whose character is so stupid that it doesn't even make sense. How does someone who doesn't know what a fish tank is at first glance get a motorcycle license? He's not a ditz or a free spirit or even a moron, he just doesn't behave like any human being ever would, ever.
The villain, Rowan, isn't much, but he is remarkably well-cast. He's supposed to be the sort of person who just projects an aura of discomfort and weirdness that other people don't like. And look at this face!
I'd love to see the Backstage audition ad: "DOUGHY WEIRDO NEEDED FOR MAJOR FEMINIST STATEMENT." He didn't have much to do though, as he drops out in the second act, and later assumes other forms.
The best performance is Andy Garcia as the mayor of New York, who does a sort of vaguely Trumpian, vaguely Kochian spiel.
The plot, such as it is, is very simple: Rowan wants revenge on the world, and has a knack for technology, so makes ghost-amplifying gadgets. The 'busters bust the ghosts in a couple of set pieces, one of which works well for low-key supernatural scares, and are asked by the government to admit being frauds to avoid a general panic. So they do, but it upsets them, and apparently Rowan has infinite resources despite being a hotel janitor who dresses like a bell hop (what?) but they can't stop him in time and the whole city goes kablooey and there is the now-inevitable sci-fi brawl over a giant swirling hole. It's much more of an actioner than the original film, which is just as as well only about 1 percent of the "jokes" are funny.
That really is it. Everything comes easy. The clues are simple enough to understand, Holtzmann has unlimited spare time off-camera to come up with super-gadgets, the characters all transform themselves into incredible athletes who never miss more or less immediately, and everything's always great. The jokes are mostly shoehorned in to conversations, with plenty of TV-style reaction shots and people muttering to one another about what an odd thing it was to say this or that, and there's an extended bit when a lowlife college dean spends two minutes of screentime waving his middle fingers at the characters. It's just stupid. A lot of Ghostbusters is just fucking stupid. Dan Ackroyd playing a cabbie who says he ain't afraid of no ghosts is about as "aaawwwwweeeesome!!" as it gets (not at all; it was just embarrassing). In the very end, the editor cannot be arsed to make the dialogue match up with the moving lips of the characters. How much did this picture cost to make again?
The ghost of a good movie has been busted.