Humiliated by her beau's wayward eye and media hunger, Bristol Palin declares that from now on she'll seek in a partner "someone who has religious beliefs and a good family."
I've got one for you! Online Weirdo Venger Satanis not only has religious beliefs, he has his own religion! According to his MySpace page:
hi. i'm the founder and High Priest of the Cult of Cthulhu. yes, it's a "real" religion which worships the Old Ones. H.P. Lovecraft crystalized Their form and nature in his stories, and now it is our place to give Them life. the world around us is a prison. our organization assists the individual in breaking out. if you wish to escape, then reach out to us... and Cthulhu's chartreuse, dripping tentacles will guide you.
I Am the Way
I feel the same way, but not about Cthulhu. I worship Dr. Spielvogel, the psychoanalyst from Portnoy's Complaint. Unfortunately, I'm not from a good family, but Mr. Satanis surely is. I mean, he lives in Wisconsin, which is a pretty wholesome place, and his parents named him after a cartoon character:
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So he'll blend right in with all those crazy Palin family names. Satanis is also totally honest, another trait Bristol wants—he has his status set to "Swinger" and everything. You know where he stands.
I know that the Palins read this LJ (all made up TV people do), so let me know, gang, if you want my help to make this new relationship work. Bristol and Venger, I declare them a TRUE LOVE MATCH!
I've got one for you! Online Weirdo Venger Satanis not only has religious beliefs, he has his own religion! According to his MySpace page:
hi. i'm the founder and High Priest of the Cult of Cthulhu. yes, it's a "real" religion which worships the Old Ones. H.P. Lovecraft crystalized Their form and nature in his stories, and now it is our place to give Them life. the world around us is a prison. our organization assists the individual in breaking out. if you wish to escape, then reach out to us... and Cthulhu's chartreuse, dripping tentacles will guide you.
I Am the Way
I feel the same way, but not about Cthulhu. I worship Dr. Spielvogel, the psychoanalyst from Portnoy's Complaint. Unfortunately, I'm not from a good family, but Mr. Satanis surely is. I mean, he lives in Wisconsin, which is a pretty wholesome place, and his parents named him after a cartoon character:
So he'll blend right in with all those crazy Palin family names. Satanis is also totally honest, another trait Bristol wants—he has his status set to "Swinger" and everything. You know where he stands.
I know that the Palins read this LJ (all made up TV people do), so let me know, gang, if you want my help to make this new relationship work. Bristol and Venger, I declare them a TRUE LOVE MATCH!